Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
Without question, one thing that most of us are guilty of is comparing ourselves to others. It can be a very difficult cycle to remove yourself from, and can lead us down a path of negative self talk, or even worse, self hatred. The other day during one of our Small Groups, one of our clients was having a tough day. She is a teenager, going through teenage girl things that a 34 year old man does not quite understand how to help navigate. But one of the things she said that struck a chord within, was when she said ‘ everyone in here is in such great shape. I’m nowhere near where any of these people are.’
It struck a chord because I have been guilty of that inner dialogue or self talk for most of my teenage years, and I have tried very hard to remove it from my life (and still fail in my mid 30s). It is so easy to see someone making progress in the gym, especially if you are seeing them multiple times per week for months or even years. We always will notice someone else improving far sooner than we see ourselves improving. But the thing that we all seem to miss, is that we are on the same journey. Comparing ourselves to others who are busting their butt, and looking at yourself in the mirror after a bad meal, or a bad day of eating is the quickest way to feel bad about yourself.
If i could give a piece of advice to the reader who has found themselves in the spiral of seeing a friend, or someone they exercise with looking better, or maybe seeming more confident is this:
Compare yourself to the you that walked into the gym on day 1. This doesn’t mean go look for progress pictures, or try to find out how you looked on that day, whenever it may be. This means, if you can truthfully say that you have done your best. You’ve busted your ass for your workouts. You’ve tried your best to eat as healthy as you can. This doesn’t mean you count your calories, or track your macros, and haven’t had a cheat day or a carb since 2009. This means even after a meal, or a day of bad eating, you don’t wallow in self pity and keep the bad day of eating and turn it into a bad week. You acknowledge that it wasn’t a great day of eating, and you get back to doing your best the very next day. Do your clothes fit differently? Do you feel more energized? Do you have more confidence than the you on day 1? Then guess what? You’re killing it. And you know what’s even cooler than that? People are noticing.
We are our own worst critic. We take the longest to notice progress. This is why a gym like Infinity Athletics is so important in today's age of social media and comparisons of unrealistic expectations. A community such as this is the first place you will find where people are celebrating your small wins. These are the people who will notice your progress and not talk negatively about it to make them feel better about themselves. No. This is a place where people will notice, and tell you how awesome you are doing, or how proud they are of you. We ALL need something like that today. And that is why we are so happy that we have built a community of amazing people, who love nothing more than to tell others how great of a job they are doing.